But, to believe and be raised as a JW, was just a waste Of the last 37 years?
I know what you're saying but if you were granted the ability to go back and completely erase your JW past, would you do it ? If you can answer no, it shows that it wasn't a complete waste and even though you are feeling dissillusioned right now, you do have many good things to show for it all. Nothing has changed in the world, it's just the same as it was before but you are beginning to look at everything without all the JW filters. If you are like most of us, on some level you knew this day would come. Just be glad that it didn't take longer and that you (unlike most of us) thanks to your reasonable parents, at least got to participate in normal childhood activities and were able to get an education.
Take heart, if I can adjust to the shock and disillusion of learning the TATT, anybody can. Take it slow....let yourself adjust. Although it might feel like it at times, this isn't an emergency. I read somewhere that anytime a person experiences a big change in their life (for good or for bad) they should allow one month of adjustment/grieving time for every year they were involved in the part of their life that has now changed. (ie: Worked at Microsoft for 10 years and got laid off....allow 10 months grieving/adjustment time). You might not feel as much pressure if you accept that it may take you 37 months to feel totaly comfortable about all of this.
Glad you found your way here....having a voice among people who are or have been in your position, will be a great help to you in your transition. Even so it may be helpful to limit the amount of time you spend here or in thinking about this topic. It's easy to become obsessive about all of this at first.